


Love Is A Man's Razor

by RunawayDeviant



Series: A Girl and Her Giant Green Rage Monster [1]
Category: Incredible Hulk (2008), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, The Author Regrets Nothing, this is potentially the shortest thing I have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-04
Updated: 2012-12-04
Packaged: 2017-11-20 06:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/582497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunawayDeviant/pseuds/RunawayDeviant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy commandeers Bruce's toiletries; Bruce stutters a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Is A Man's Razor

"Bruce, can I borrow your razor?" Darcy called from the bathroom adjoining Bruce's bedroom, "I forgot mine at my apartment!"

"Yeah, sure," Bruce replied as he pulled his shirt on, "Mi baño es su baño."

"Thanks!" she called back, and Bruce nodded absently.

"Wait, why do you need my razor?" he asked the air quizzically, looking over at the bathroom door. The shower was very obviously on, and he took a moment to ponder this before shrugging and finishing getting dressed. He slipped some shoes on and padded over to the bathroom door, knocking. "I'm going down to my lab; I have an experiment to check on," he announced, and waiting for Darcy's reply ("Don't hinder science on my account, babe!") before heading for the door.

Half an hour later found Bruce still standing over the read outs from his latest attempt to break the laws of physics, Tony puttering around with a half disassembled mass spectrometer somewhere behind him, muttering about how he could "make it better".

"Brucey!" Darcy called from the doorway, running in with shorts and no shoes, completely heedless to any and all safety regulations; "Your razor is the best thing ever and I'm going to steal it and use it from now on," she announced, running forward and sticking out a leg; "See? Last time they were this smooth I'd just gotten them waxed!"

"Um, yeah," Bruce said, unsure of how to reply (the sound of Tony barely holding in laughter wasn't helping), "They're definitely less, um... fluffy?"

Darcy sent him a hurt look; "You thought I was _fluffy_?" she asked, eyes shining.

"I- um- Tony, shut _up_ ," he hissed over his shoulder at the engineer, who was now cackling with what look like an ion detector in his hands. "Which is to say that- um, I didn't really notice that you were..."

"Fluffy?" Tony filled in dryly, and Bruce picked up a pen and flung it at the other scientist's head.

"Oh Bruce, you're so cute," Darcy said, laughing and stepping forward to kiss him; "and unfailingly sweet. Isn't he, Tony?"

"As sugar, darling," Tony agreed, handing his burden to Dummy, who immediately dropped it; "That's it, I'm sending you back to Malibu, you stupid thing."

"Um," Bruce said, ignoring Tony as he berated his robot, "So, should I be apologising, or-"

"Honey, I could really care less," Darcy informed him, arms still wrapped around his neck, "I just wanted to tell you that you're going to need a new razor, because seriously? That thing is like ten times better than any of the crap in the women's section."

"Um-"

"Shut up and kiss me again."

"Yes ma'am."


End file.
